What are The Ugly Side of Real Self Care No One Talks About


You’ve likely seen countless real self care tips videos on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube promoting self care ideas like Japanese massages, facial acupuncture, fancy skincare routines, and spa days as real self care that is packaged as the ultimate form of self-care.

While these generate views and revenue, they often overlook the deeper aspects of well-being. Real self care isn’t just about external indulgence; it’s an internal process that involves making hard choices, setting boundaries, and prioritizing your mental, emotional, and physical health — even when it’s uncomfortable.

In this article, we will indulge in real self care, how to practice self-care regularly, best practices for self-care, and myths regarding self-care activities.

If you feel like motivation has ditched you, don’t worry I got your back.

A cozy, pastel-colored digital illustration of a woman relaxing in a warm bubble bath inside a pink bathtub with golden accents. This shows what is real self care

The Real Self Care Practices that truly work

What do you think of self care day, what comes to mind? Does it look like coming home from the office — taking a hot bubble bath while sipping wine and listening to music to unwind — or a relaxing Sunday, munching on food while binging your favorite shows, or maybe hitting the sauna after the gym?

For me, self care day is not just about rejuvenating myself but also about improving my health and mental well-being. On days when I’m not feeling my best, I like to do stretches, cook my favorite meal, and, of course, enjoy a lovely sleep.

Real Self care carries a different meaning for each of us. It’s not always sunshine — sometimes, it’s a sad, rainy day when we have to make tough choices, like blocking a toxic ex or friend or letting people know we’re not in the mood.

By doing this, you are not only practicing self-care and self-control, but you’ll also experience lower stress and better mental health, as supported by research.

According to Harvard Medical School, consistent exercise, proper sleep and balanced nutrition can reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety just as effectively as some medications. Not only that, but they also lower the risk of heart disease, diabetes, and high blood pressure.

Setting boundaries is a must — not just to avoid an overbearing boss or workplace conflicts, but to protect your well-being. Nearly half of life’s stress can be reduced simply by maintaining work-life boundaries. A 2018 study in the  Journal of Occupational Health Psychology found that employees who set clear boundaries experience less burnout and better mental health.

We have to realize that self-care isn’t a luxury but it’s a choice we have to make every day.

How to do self-care activities regularly including setting boundaries, removing toxic people, starting something new, prioritizing rest and sleep, and facing difficult emotions.

How To Do Self-care Activities Regularly?

Wouldn’t it be better to have a peaceful life — one where you don’t wake up to new problems to solve, but instead, a beautiful chapter waiting for you at dawn?

The first step is to realize that real self care is not always about aesthetic face masks, expensive treatments, and luxury products.

It also means making tough choices—ones that don’t require spending a lot just to feel good in the moment

You must be wondering, how can I achieve that?

Here is how to practice self-care regularly:

  • Setting Boundaries & Saying No: If you’re wondering how to practice self-care regularly then the first thing you need to realize that not every person deserves your time, energy, and attention. You need to learn to say no — not once or twice, but as many times as needed. You don’t have to be a people-pleaser who constantly sacrifices their comfort for others. This is one of the best practices for self-care, you should follow.

We humans are a lot like plants — we grow, and we need to be surrounded by people who also want to grow. This ensures your growth too. Being around people who refuse to grow is like having your roots tangled in weeds, holding you back from thriving.

  • Removing Toxic or Unsupportive People: I have cut off many people from my life. Whenever I wanted to start something new. They always had an excuse ready. Do you want to start tutoring? The answer came as a spontaneous no, followed by a long list of reasons why I shouldn’t do that until I finally had enough and took the leap on my own.
  • Don’t be afraid to start something new: If you have a friend like I had once — a total complacent naysayer who always has a way to shut down an idea to the point that they could have shut down the McDonald’s — Stop waiting. The best practices for self-care  is Stop waiting to start something you always wish to whether it is doing a degree, start writing or open a cloud kitchen.

How to practice self-care regularly is to get to the action because they’re never going to be on board.

It’s time to kick them to the curb. If people refuse, it’s not always because your idea is bad—sometimes, it’s just a sign that you need to move forward without them.

  • Prioritizing Rest & Sleep: I get it — scrolling through your phone or watching one more episode of your favorite anime or show is a guilty pleasure.  But instead of mindlessly staying up late, choose to rest. We often convince ourselves that one more episode or a few more minutes online won’t hurt, yet the next morning, we wake up drained. This could ruin all the self-care activities you do.
    • Real self care means knowing when to shut everything down and give your body the rest it needs. Sleep isn’t a luxury but it is self-care activities and it’s a necessity for your mental and physical well-being.
    • If you’re constantly exhausted, no amount of skincare or journaling will make up for it. Sometimes, real self care is as simple as putting your phone away and getting a full night’s sleep.
    • However, rest isn’t just about sleep — it’s also about giving your emotions a break. Sometimes, the hardest part of self-care activities is facing what you’d rather escape.
  • Facing Difficult Emotions: best practices for self-care isn’t just about getting enough sleep but it’s also about how you handle tough emotions. If you’re having a bad day — maybe work didn’t go as planned, or you’re dealing with a breakup — what’s your first instinct? Binge-eating while watching Netflix.

A solid strategy… until it isn’t. While it may offer temporary relief, it actually messes with your self-regulation in the long run.

Instead of stepping into the arena to battle your tears, try dealing with your emotions differently. The self care tips I can give is to grab some tissues, let yourself feel, and be your own source of comfort and take care of yourself.

A study published in Psychological Science found that people who practice self-control — like resisting distractions — report higher life satisfaction and emotional stability over time.

So, real self care? It’s not about avoiding the breakdown but allowing yourself to process it in a way that helps you grow.

This image conveys what most people believe real self care and self care activities looks. However , real self care is not scented candles or applying face mask in every case.

What are The Myths about Self-care Activities?

We often see real self care portrayed on social media are some self care ideas or self-care activities that usually are: taking a dream vacation to rejuvenate, bubble baths, luxurious skincare routines.

But here’s the reality: self-care activities isn’t about the stuff — it’s about how you treat yourself in ways that truly nurture your mental and physical well-being.

Sure, a spa day can be relaxing, but let’s face it — long-term well-being comes from more than just pampering yourself. Research shows that material self-care offers temporary relief, while real self care focuses on building habits like emotional regulation and setting boundaries.

It’s about doing things that don’t always feel fun but push you toward growth, like choosing to get active even when Netflix calls, or making time for therapy.

Now, let’s tackle some common myths that may be holding you back from practicing self-care in a way that really works for you.

1. Self-Care Is Just Pampering

Everyone loves a bubble bath, but real self care isn’t just about indulgence. It’s about the hard stuff too — like setting boundaries, managing your stress, and taking care of the everyday things that can make a huge impact on your well-being. Sometimes, it’s paying bills on time or having those tough, necessary conversations. It’s not always pretty, but it’s always worth it.

A peaceful, gender-neutral self-care scene featuring a warm, cozy atmosphere. The image represents the inclusivity of self-care, showing that it is not selfish, expensive, or gender-specific but essential for everyone.

2. Self-Care Is Selfish

This one is a trap many of us fall into. Taking time for yourself and take care of yourself doesn’t mean you’re neglecting others. In fact, when you prioritize your own well-being, you can show up better for everyone else in your life. Think about it: you can’t pour from an empty cup. Best practices for self-care is about filling your own cup so you can be there for others, too.

3. Self-Care Requires a Lot of Time and Money

Forget the idea that real self care has to be expensive or time-consuming. You don’t need to book a vacation to practice real self care. Sometimes, it’s as simple as taking a few minutes to breathe, stretch, or write in a journal. Small moments of care can be just as effective as big ones — and they don’t have to cost a thing.

4. Self-Care Is Only for Women

Self-care isn’t gendered. Everyone, regardless of gender, experiences stress, burnout, and emotional struggles. Taking care of your mental and physical health is crucial for everyone. Men, women, non-binary individuals — real self care is for all of us. It’s not a luxury, it’s a necessity. So, if you feel the need to take a break, go ahead — you deserve all the care in the world.

5. Self-Care Only Provides Temporary Relief

Sure, some self-care activities offer quick fixes — a face mask, a long bath, or a few moments of quiet. But true self-care is about consistency. It’s about creating long-term habits that help you build resilience and stay mentally strong.

Practices like mindfulness, quality sleep, and regular emotional check-ins aren’t just quick fixes — they’re the foundation of lasting mental health.

These myths we often carry around as a thought — shaped by our environment, culture, or even a passing comment — they don’t define us.

Taking care of ourselves is a fundamental human need. We can’t expect to glow while we’re busy worrying about what others think; what they think of us is not the end of the world.

In the end, we’re only setting ourselves up to get hit by the storm. It’s all about making consistent, intentional choices that nurture our well-being and empower us to lead healthier, more balanced lives.

We need to prioritize self-care, especially on those gloomy days when there’s no one around to dry our tears.

A serene and cozy self-care scene featuring warm, inviting lighting and a peaceful setting. The image reflects self-care as a daily practice of small but meaningful actions that contribute to long-term well-being and resilience.

Real self care is more than just pampering yourself with occasional luxuries; it’s about making deliberate, often uncomfortable choices to prioritize your mental, emotional, and physical health.

Whether it’s setting boundaries, confronting tough emotions, or choosing rest over distractions, self-care activities is about long-term well-being and growth.

It’s time to shift the focus from momentary relief to consistent habits that build resilience and promote overall well-being. Start today—embrace the hard side of self-care and take action for your future self. You deserve it.

Conclusion

Ready to take your self-care to the next level? Begin by setting one small boundary today and watch how it transforms your life. And if you’re curious about why I write, here’s a little about me.

FAQs

What does self-care really mean?
According to real self care, it isn’t just about bubble baths, spa days, or expensive skincare. It’s about making intentional choices that support your well-being. Real self care means setting boundaries, removing toxic people, facing difficult emotions, and prioritizing your mental, emotional, and physical health — even when it feels uncomfortable.
How can I practice self-care regularly?
To practice self care activities regularly, start by setting boundaries and learning to say no. Remove toxic or unsupportive people, don’t be afraid to start something new, prioritize rest and sleep, and allow yourself to face emotions instead of avoiding them. These small, consistent steps help build resilience and lower stress.
What are effective self-care activities?
Effective self care activities include journaling, proper sleep, exercise, cooking a favorite meal, setting boundaries at work and in relationships, and choosing rest over distractions like endless scrolling or binge-watching. These are simple but powerful ways to protect your mental health.
Is self-care just pampering?
No. Real self care is not limited to pampering or external indulgence. While a spa day or bubble bath can feel relaxing, the deeper work lies in managing your stress, practicing emotional regulation, and making tough choices — like ending unhealthy relationships or saying no when needed.
Why does self-care sometimes feel hard?
Because real self care is not always about comfort. It often means making choices that are challenging in the moment, such as getting enough sleep instead of staying online, blocking a toxic friend, or confronting difficult emotions. These actions may feel tough, but they lead to lasting growth and better well-being.


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